Someone posted a whisper, which reads "A tip I've learned in life: Being nice gets you nowhere" By CaseyRoseHazzaHoran Ongoing - Updated Mar 24, 2013 Embed Story Share via Email Read New Reading List. But in a friendly situation to use a cold bucket of water by saying "You are mistaken. That's what being an adult is about. Again, that's a pushover. but if ur not nice u get unwerthy friends and get a borning job and never meet a person. Everyday is a new day. You have no idea what is going on in the life of most people, what demons they might be facing, so you can't judge their reactions to your being nice. As a manager people know what I expect of them. As if these situations were the same as the therapeutic milieu. In a situation when I am a magnet of attention, being funny and friendly, men mistake it for a personal invitation. Or maybe what I have be referring to is KIND. I was raised to be a nice guy. If you're nice people use you as a doormat. i asked a seasoned rad onc of 25+ years today about firing these kinds of patients. You're not stepped on, not taken seriously, or used because you are nice. said he has never done it even though in private he rails against it. 10 years ago. I did not think there were that many big human insights i was going to get a front seat to at my age and history in life, but alas. I will continue to write monthly checks for her support. Work with a woman about 10 years older who has a fair amount of issues but has been a solid coworker. The problem with this evil world that we live in, is that there are not enough nice people in it. Relevance. It gets you Paradise. This is a bit extreme. I don't like to volunteer that much. Goes to show we all see things differently. I will not date you. Maybe you try too hard to be nice. My mouth opens and offers of help or what ever come out with out my consent lol ahhh Being an extravert their is no filter that says hold on a moment , is that a good idea what about what you need to do today etc . Or do you disagree? Practice. We are taught that behind every smile there is an ulterior motive. And it doesn't bother me in the least. As for being nice...I'd like to see more of it in all areas, not less. Watch Queue Queue. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. By the way, nice isn't honest or sincere or effective and is highly overrated in public life though it has an important role in private life. I can be very frank with people when it's warranted, but to interpret nice as a bad thing is looking at this from the wrong side. The issue of being too nice can come from trying to survive a severely dysfunctional childhood and can be hard or next to impossible to overcome. Zayn Malik is a sort of loner when it comes to his school. A promise I have kept to myself for more than 40 years strong. But is this really true? There's no pill for that. I like being nice to people. You can be nice to people, and be firm in your convictions, policies and practices. I thought there must be some redeeming glint of human feeling toward her own children beneath that well-rehearsed, goody-two-shoes, saccharine exterior. This life and the whole world is going to be destroyed by God anyway...so losing out something or everything in this life for being nice (towards God and his rights firstly, and what comes from that...) is not a loss... 87:16. What hog wash. Sometimes, being nice is: 1- perceived as weakness; 2 - being manipulative; 3 - being insincere. You need to address the underlying feelings of resentment and anger towards them. I have learnt a valuable lesson. Simple. Being nice can most certainly get you places. Thank you. That would not ever be my style. Being nice is its own reward, you should get a good feeling from being nice, not a reward. I'm a nice person and it gets me nowhere. The practice of medicine should be a partnership between doctor and patient. It’s very much a co-dependency type of behavior and growing up with a parent that is an alcoholic can foster this behavior because we weren’t allowed to show anything but happy emotions and certainly not allowed to express any anger or sadness and therefore as a child you never learn how to even recognize your own emotions. Niceness can be dishonest and avoids confrontation. If you wanted to make self centered, insecure vanity lovers happy, this is the article for them. :). I don't care about bedside manner either. Just get it done. You should not need to protect others from who you are, your thoughts and feelings. a cute polar bear ruthlessley eats the abdomen out of a live seal and loves every second of it, guilt free to be sure. How about trying to focus on being honest and kind instead of "nice?" Image Opinion News. Now, let me just preface this with saying that I am by no means a â¦ She is now very elderly and disabled by a stroke. It's time to not just apologize or recover, but again speak up. people pushing away help and good medicine, wasting endless time and missed appointments who most of time are not paying for anything? I’ve also been working on it for years and see being too nice as only a symptom of the underlying root problem of trying to learn what I really feel and knowing how to show that in a healthy manner. LOL Before, I did not think it was "nice" (or rather "polite") to say "no" in a such harsh manner. Simple. When you look at the other people in your life, there are lots of ways that you are the same. I cringed at my bosses' wedding when I was chatting with a co-worker and she said to one girl I was interested in, "miamismo is such a nice guy." If you want to be respected, you must stand for something. S. shnaek Frequent Poster. Is there any way I can get help with this or do you have further recommended reading? Or Does It? Priyanka Chopra puts on a stylish display in a green corduroy coat as she gets to work on set of romantic-comedy Text For You in London The actress, 38, put on a stylish display What I have been doing lately when people begin with the rant of 'people are awful, i just lover critters' This is a generalization but nice guys struggle to stand up for themselves. I am extremely nice. If you have spent your life figuring out what makes people human, and accepting it then you shouldn't have a breakdown from all that niceness. This video is unavailable. I don't always want to be. Being STRONG is often confused with being a jerk. Never been able to do so myself. We are taught that behind every smile there is an ulterior motive. Believe me, other people would much rather deal in the truth with someone with integrity than they would having someone schmooze them up with what he thought they wanted to hear (then find out later they were relying upon a falsehood). They always give others the benefit of the doubt, are ready to give a hand, or volunteer for that task that no one wants. So, are you ready to give up some of your niceness? It does not mean I am interested romantically". Has not happend with me but I see it more and more. That was the problem. Be part of the largest student community and join the conversation: Being nice gets you nowhere Nothing ever helps me really understand this unaddressed issue in my life. I have been to nice and not sure that is a real problem. I had to have a counselor hand a piece of paper to me with about 30 emotions listed on it and she said these are normal to feel and ok. We see this a lot with virtue signaling. The fucked you up. (rant?) Posted on September 11, 2019 September 8, 2019 by Stacy G. 11 Sep You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.â â Pubilius Syrus You may have heard the saying ânice guys finish last.â People often believe that being kind means you are weak and can be easily taken advantage of. There are some little things you can do to change your patterns and your life. She knocks herself out to be ingratiating to everyone in the world, including the child molester down the street. I just end up getting trampled on and so on. as long as you don't walk over into placating. But is this really true? âIm back to being a savage again, being nice gets you nowhere in life.â When she is off now I feel better in the room even though she is a good coworker when there. Will I mourn when she is gone? How about being yourself? At the end of the day people respect polite but firm honesty more than pushovers. Balance being caring towards other's needs and feelings BUT don't disregard your own. I was kind, and most will say I am, after all these years. Search as I might I discovered to my chagrin that she is truly and deeply that one-dimensional. We recently went through the difficult process of removing a coworker- you can only imagine. this article loses sight of the fact that nice and agreeabke are fine as long as you can politely refuse things that you do not want to participate in. I have been smothered so much that I could see myself letting the church group know in advance that I will not be available for any volunteering for X amount of months, just to get them out of my hair. As long as you keep your own boundaries these traits can be fine. Life is win-win as much as possible. She was a strong ally- took a couple years all together. And I would do the circles of polite rejection and a man won't understand. She does openly talk about bipolar in her family but its no real excuse, she is bitter toward the world and people. And with those words, all the things you promised me turned to nothing. that tells me that you're always on the defense, likely read into things that are not there, and always ready to fight because you think the worst of people. Here's a scenario: child molester moves into your neighborhood, you and the neighbors shun him. Being agreeable to medical middleman has absolutely destroyed the economics and practice of medicine. If you could say one positive thing about her, it would be that she didn't play favorites. The last quote I just saw the opportunity to make a joke and couldn't pass it up, but a man did really say that to me at a bar. If you decide that you are, in fact, tired of being nice all the time, or tired of absorbing any or all of these consequences, it’s time to stop going on autopilot and begin to make choices and change some of your behaviors. You speak the same language, you all eat a few times a day and you have a tendency to breathe regularly. How Many People Have Ever Had a Threesome? It is possible to be genuinely nice to others without internalizing and having a break down. Through trial and error, I learned that goodness is not the same thing as passiveness, and it is always better to act instead of react. I feel I'm the same way as to your last two statements. This fits me to a T also. It was mainly because my mom refused to let me make my own decisions, and she/herself could not say no when my friend's mom asked to her to tell me to do whatever at church. Also drinking. That poor 100-year-old woman who regretted eating too many beans and not enough ice cream. (See my comment below.) It was a ground breaking moment for me. 11 Answers. Of course not. It depends on ur definition of somewhere and nowhere?! It's one thing to comprehend what you express here. What that means is that I am too nice. When I look for a surgeon I want the one with the worst bedside manner who is booked for months because I assume they are making it on talent alone. He was a very serious person; what he was very seriously focused upon was my health and well-being. Rejection hurts. She toadies up to almost anyone, including those who would hurt her children. Just eating. You will feel guilty, you will feel anxious that the world will despise you and that terrible things will happen. It gets you Paradise. (Nice and friendly are different , but often go together. ) That cartoon of the headstone that says, “Ate all that kale for nothing.” The watered-down life, the not being truly known, the millions of missed opportunities to do and get what you want instead of what others wanted can leave you with serious life regrets. A build-up of resentment can often fuel the acting out, but sometimes it’s just a slow and ever-present simmer that you internalize along with everything else. It’s less about a value of how to treat people and more a psychological flack-suit to protect you from what seems to be a scary world. (50 Posts) Add message | Report. i get treated better in restaurants because im nice. Mr. Musk lots years of his life dealing with Model X production issues. As a result, they mitigated my potential. — or expecting them to realize what you need and give it to you, even though you never say what those needs are. :) Answer Save. When you feel anger, irritation, or resentment, use it as information telling you what you need, what you don’t like, what you may want. Florida GOP official resigns over raid of data scientist, Fox News' Geraldo Rivera: Trump's not speaking to me, Pornhub ends unverified uploads and bans downloads, Players walk after official allegedly hurls racist slur, Courteney Cox reveals 'gross' recreation of turkey dance, Trump vows to intervene in latest Texas election case, Family: Man shot by deputy 'was holding sandwich', Biden says reopening schools will be a 'national priority', Chick-fil-A files suit over alleged price fixing, Dez Bryant tweets he's done for season after positive test, Ex-Rep. Katie Hill alleges years of abuse by husband. Still have questions? Favorite Quotes Best Quotes ... . Slow down to realize how you really feel. It's truly a great tool for self-growth. The comments are always as interesting as the article. There are many roads to prosperity, but one must be taken. They’re sensitive to the feelings of others, easy to be around, and rarely if ever argue. If you are consistently nice, and you have some kind of resentment then that is your problem (although this could be the what you addressing here, as the ONLY reason for being nice). a man or woman of integrity would not take calls from HIM. There are many varieties of each flavor, so there can be no single answer to the question, Humble people will appreciate you and be grateful for what you do. Why your nice attitude will take you nowhere in life â Reno Omokri. I like to consider myself a nice person but you are right on the volunteer dept. This is a hole I'm still climbing out of. With both my husband and I working and kids with extracurricular activities it makes it hard for me to volunteer. Instead of replying instantly with what â¦ If you do all the heavy lifting all of the time, you are prone to periodic collapse. Life Knowledge Die. Forgive others mistake and Allah swt will forgive ours. 05. And not much that therapy can do, either. 2-those critters you adore so much more than your own speices would not be so endearing to you if they could speak to you in your language and criticize, disagree or hold you accountable in any way at all. in the short term you are probably right, however don't you get a warm feeling just by being nice? Niceness leads to uselessness! Less stress. i wish the spouse unearths out and dumps you the two. There are predatory humans and non predatory humans. So in a sense if you be nice youre healthy! Take a few deep breaths, pat yourself on the back, and keep moving forward. would not settle for invites from HIM. I'm definitely not a pushover, but also not nice. He is the author of 11 books and over 300 articles and provides training nationally and internationally. The other 8 types are distinct and each has sub-types and other influences, so it's a very nuanced, perceptive, profound, and insightful system. Not nice. For a society with a vast amount of anti-bullying groups and calls to action we repeatedly bully, judge and harass others through tweets, posts etc. Really? That leaves me with relationships. 99K likes. 1; 2; 3; Next. I am annoyed tonight beucase it seems that all this niceness gets me nowhere. Know your limits and be truthful with others. you're supposedly his spouse's suitable pal, not his. Although the Hereafter â¦ Being nice takes very little energy and then actually gives you a more energy. Get your answers by asking now. Rather than clearly stating what you want at the start of a discussion with someone, you instead anticipate or assume what the other person would like, and then downshift your own demands before the conversation starts. Talking about personality first is kind of tell and it doesn't just work against women. This is my biggest fault as a person: being too nice. I understand you wrote that comment in regards to people like your mom, but there was one statement: "I am immediately suspicious of people who seem to be too nice, their fakeness seriously grates on my nerves, and won't have anything to do with them.". Being nice gets you nowhere - literally! Not ugly either. Why your nice attitude will take you nowhere in life â Reno Omokri. How about not lying to yourself or others about how you honestly feel? He fled his country when the Soviet Union took it over. What goes a long way to being nice is that you're more likely to blame yourself than anyone else: It’s your fault, you should have known better, you did something that caused the other person to act the way they did, though you really have no idea what that may be. It's the most helpful thing to do in the long run. Until the pressure builds up, and the right stress-triggers set you off.
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being nice gets you nowhere in life
By on December 10, 2020 in Uncategorized